How to help nicu parents

Hey everyone, Lindsey here! As you may know by now, mom is in Georgia with Alicia. Alicia gave birth recently to her third child. Unfortunately there were complications with her pregnancy and baby Sebastian had to come early, so he is spending time in the NICU.
The good news is, he is doing really well! Alicia is pretty much a pro at dealing with babies in the NICU since her oldest son Adrian also was born early and had to spend time there. I wish I lived closer so I could help out with watching kids, transportation, cooking, cleaning etc. I started wondering, what can I do to help my sister while she is dealing with this stress while she is in Georgia and I am in Arizona?
I figure I am probably not the first person who has a friend or family member with a NICU baby, and maybe you too were wondering, what can I do to help them? So I asked Alicia, what are the things that NICU parents need? These are her answers:

IDEAS to help out nicu parents:

1. Food: At the top of her list was helping out with meals. Of course, most NICU parents are spending many hours in the hospital, and making some good homemade meals isn't easy! This can become exponentially harder when you have older kids who still need to eat, and/or if the hospital is kind of far away from where they live (which is the case with Alicia).

If you live nearby you could drop off meals at their home. Alicia said they set a cooler on their porch in case people dropped off meals while they weren't home. If you have a large cooler you could offer it up for meal storage. Or, if you know them well enough that they feel comfortable giving you a key, you could offer to drop by at certain times during the day to move meals from the cooler to the refrigerator or freezer indoors.

For people like me, who live far away, it is so much easier in this day and age to digitally send gift cards to restaurants in the area, or even just a reloadable VISA type card that they can use anywhere.  I have also ordered food from a family favorite and had it delivered. So easy to do out of state!

You could also offer to pick up groceries for them, and again, you can do this from far away through things like Instacart, Amazon Pantry, or other grocery delivery services.

2. Babysitting: This one is obviously easier for those who live nearby, but if your NICU family has older kids, volunteering to babysit the older kids is a huge help! Even before my mom was able to fly out to help watch Alicia's older kids while they were with Sebastian in the hospital Alicia had people who lived nearby, like our cousin Tara, and some friends of theirs, who helped watch the kids and make sure they were taken care of so Alicia and Adrian could focus on the baby and Alicia's recovery while at the hospital.

3. Helping to clean: Another big help as your NICU parents are traveling back and forth to the hospital, especially since mom is recovering from giving birth, is help cleaning up their house! I remember when Emily was a baby one day one of my ministering sisters through the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints texted me and said she was going to come over and clean while Emily and I slept. She came over and cleaned my kitchen and did some laundry and then left. We were sleeping. She didn't ask to hold the baby or try to have me sit up and chat with her. She just came, served, and went home. It really meant so much to me that she was willing to do that! Can you imagine how much more it would mean to someone who's baby is spending time in the NICU? To be able to come home to a clean house can really lift your spirits when everything else can feel so crazy.

For those who live far away, if it is in your budget, maybe you could hire someone to spend a few hours cleaning at your friend or family member's home, as long as they're comfortable with it.

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4. Baby supplies: If the hospital will let you dress baby, it can be helpful and comforting to parents to be able to have clothes to dress their little one in, in order to feel some sense of normalcy while they're in the hospital. Plus, if baby came early enough, they might not have supplies yet, and it can help them feel like they're ready to bring baby home when the time comes.

This is one that people who live far away can do as well! Alicia had a gift registry on Amazon and I was able to send her some diapers for Sebastian from all the way in Arizona. I know I'm not the only one who did that for her. Since their second child is six, and they moved prior to the baby being born, they needed some supplies and Sebastian came just before Alicia's baby shower. So sending baby items is so helpful!
Alicia also specifically mentioned getting mom a good breast pump. With a NICU baby mom's usually aren't able to nurse at first. If breastfeeding their baby is a goal mom has, you can support her in that buy getting her a good pump, or spare pump parts so she has everything she needs to pump! (Including a mini fridge to store the milk in!)

5. Care package for the NICU parents: Along with the breast pump and supplies you can send a care package of things mom (and also dad) will need to keep their energy up! I love this Honest company New Mama Care essential gift kit linked above! You could also get mom Gatorades (Gatorade was a HUGE help with my milk supply!) and snacks for while they're spending their day in the NICU. A care package could also include hand sanitizer, breast pads, nipple cream, maybe a neck pillow for dad if he falls asleep in the hospital while mom is pumping or something, a small night light for night time pumping, ice packs, and a small cooler for transporting milk.

6. I'll add my last thought that as you are trying to help, try not to be an additional burden on mom and dad. If you have more free time to say, I can come to your house on this day to set up the nursery for you, then that is great! But if all you can manage right now is to send a gift card, don't try to schedule for anything extra that might require them to meet you, or arrange their schedule around yours. Sometimes a simple note or text letting them know you're thinking of them and praying for them can go a long way to energize their spirits.

Having a little one in the NICU is obviously a stressful time in a parents life, so remember, in your goal to be helpful, don't add to their burden, you're just trying to lighten the load any way you can!